July drabbles - 13

Some names are unpronounceable. Suppose they’d called me after t’place I was born. Llanfair PG; Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch if you want the whole thing. Now that would plant a meal in your mouth—you’d have to starve yourself to make room to say it. But no, they called me after my Scottish father’s clan, Clan Colquhuon, except they tell me now it’s spelled Calhoun. Nothing unpronounceable there I guess, but everyone thinks it’s Colin, or Kevin, or Calvin, or Crystal (don’t ask). Call me Crystal and you’ll drive me to drink. Call me Calhoun and I’ll drive you. And that’s a promise.